Success Principle #1: Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life:
Taking 100% Responsibility for Your Life is fundamental to creating a successful life. It is the core principle on which everything else is based. It is designed to get people out of blaming and complaining and into consciously creating the life they desire. This can only happen if they are willing to take 100% responsibility for their results.
In order to achieve complete and full self-esteem we have to take full responsibility for our lives, for both our internal and external experiences. Often we fall into the trap of blaming other people for how we feel and for what happens to us. Looking for the solutions to our problems outside of ourselves distracts us. It is much more effective, however, to look inside ourselves to see how we are creating what we are experiencing through our thoughts, images and behaviors. Taking the position that we are responsible for our responses to the world gives us more power.
You Are In Charge
“The bottom line is that you are the one who is creating your life the way it is. The life you currently live is a result of all your past thoughts and actions. You are in charge of what you say and what you do. You are in charge of what goes into your mind-the books and magazines you read, the movies and television shows you watch, and the people you hang out with. Every action is under your control. To be more successful all you have to do is to act in ways that produce more of what you want. Taking 100% Responsibility for Your Life is fundamental to creating a successful life. Get out of blaming and complaining and consciously create the life you desire. This can only happen if you are willing to take 100% responsibility for your results”.
Give Up Blaming
You will never become successful as long as you continue to blame someone or something else for your lack of success. If you are going to be a winner, you have to acknowledge the truth- It is you who took the actions, it is you who thought the ‘thoughts’, created the feelings, and made the choices that got you to where you are now: It is you who ate junk food-now you have gained weight! It is you who did not say “No”- now you regret the consequences, It is you who did not maintain your car-now it is broken
Responsibility Sentence Stems
This section creates an awareness for people to see where they are not taking 100% responsibility, and it will show them how they can take more responsibility in all areas of their life. Remember that: E + R = O: Event plus Response equals outcome. If you were to take just 5 percent more responsibility (R) on achieving your life purpose you would greatly improve your outcome (O) The following Responsibility Sentence Stems examples illustrate this point:
Introducing the “Have To”; “Choose To” power formula
There are people out there that feel you really have to do things, but let’s think about it for a minute, there are people who don’t take care of their children, don’t pay taxes, don’t go to school.” So is it really true that there are things “You Have To Do in Life”?
Some people feel there are people and institutions that can make you do things. We often believe some of the institutions we work for or even the people can make us do things. Have you heard statements like “the traffic made me late”? OK, so we have this belief that there are people and institutions that can make us do things. How often have you heard people say: “My boss asked me to lie for him” So I had to tell a lie! Or you may say “my husband made me late for work. I “had to meet his demands first” or “my kids made me late, I had to prepare Breakfast for them before coming to work” .
I am going to suggest to you that no one can make you do anything. There is always a choice to agree or not. The truth is no one can make you do anything, however there are consequences for the choices you make. But the truth is you always have a choice. Many of us pretend we are a victim, but we are not, we always have a choice. Victim mentality, blaming and complaining weakens our ability to make clear, conscious choices.
When you carry the mentality that there are things you “Have To Do”, you lose the power to control your destiny because you give away this power to somebody or some institution you think can make you do things. When you develop the mentality that you “Choose To Do” what ever you do, you gain your power back because you can exercise your power to choose
“Have To, Choose To” power formula-Exercise 2
Example 1: I have to pay my taxes.
If I don’t pay my taxes then, the Revenue Authority (RA) will come after me.
If the RA comes after me, they will freeze my accounts.
If they freeze my accounts, then I’ll be a criminal.
If I’m a criminal, then I’ll go to jail.
I’d rather pay my taxes, than go to jail.
I Have to pay my taxes
Response: I ‘Choose to’ pay my taxes.
If I don’t pay my taxes then, the Revenue Authority (RA) will come after me.
If the RA comes after me, they will freeze my accounts.
If they freeze my accounts, then I’ll be a criminal.
If I’m a criminal, then I’ll go to jail.
I’d rather ‘choose to’pay my taxes, than go to jail.
I ‘Choose to’ pay my taxes
Summary
Every outcome you experience in life is a result of how you’ve responded to an earlier event or events in your life. If you don’t like the outcomes you’re currently getting, you can make one choice: simply change your responses (R) to the events (E) – the way things are – until you get the outcomes (O) you want
Take 100 percent Responsibility for your life
E+R =O: Event plus Response equals Outcome. You cannot change the events but you are in charge of your responses. Changing your responses will greatly change your outcomes in a given situation or event
There are only 3 responses (R’s) you have any control over:
- Your behavior (including what you say and how you say it)
- Your thoughts (self-talk) and beliefs (both conscious and unconscious)
- Your visual imagery (including your images of the future)
Always remember that You do not “Have To” do anything. Instead “Choose To”. This will restore your power and put you back in position to make choices.